You know those days
That kind of days
When nothing seems to work as planned or hoped
Well, you know, those days, all woven together
Make up a dark tapestry
That forever hangs behind my eyes
And
One could say
That such a soft and terrible fabric,
Set with gems of desire
Is the sail of my very own ship


First come the primal misunderstanding of things
And your sweaty child hands.
Fragments of events and objects
Come to you mysteriously
And breed... well, not much
Except for the first tremours of disappointment
At the world not letting itself be caught and posessed.

Then come objects of desire
That slip between your fingers,
Leaving your body exiled from itself and exhausted
Knowledge and matter, accomplishment and love,
All forever escaping your embrace
Or just pressing up
Against your skin
Only to run off again, abandonning you to tremble in your solitude

And by and by,
With decades of misgivings written over your brow,
You start letting the vines of anger and sadness,
A strange plant, to be sure,
Cover up your body
And from your stranded viewpoint,
Ships of light keep passing you by
Ever more heavy, choking your chest
On the dark waters,
Where you drown without drowning,
Kept tight in your net of emotions
On the obscure ship that carries you forth

Oh ! Women with clear eyes,
Their bellies full of promises of achievement
Dancing a terrible demon dance
With each episode of a history of frustration
Acted out by their heavy limbs:
That battle you lost against yourself
That art you never mastered
And that love you never won,
And so many millions of small, everyday failures,
All of it eats you up, from inside and out

Blood fills your mouth and eyes
And bleak, cold darkness enters you
Every single bud of hope
Is crushed as it is born
For from frustration is born defeat without battle
Every wall, bridge or castle you build
Is destroyed by your own hand.
And all you can do, all you can do now
Is let yourself into the house of anger and stillness
Where the fire is forever kindled
With the dead bones of your fallen desires

But lo and behold
Here comes through the gates
A colourful shouting procession
Of beasts and men and creatures
You never even dreamed
And they come and rip you up
From the dark throne you were tied to
And all of a sudden hope is alive
And they carry you out
Back through the gates
Back through the paths of obscure desires
To a place of forgiveness and fulfilment, and you learn,
And you learn, that to have lived, afraid,
In spaces and structures of boredom and desire
Is what makes this unexpected day
Taste so sweet